Online Dating: How Soon To Meet In Person

Online Dating Sites—How Soon to Meet in Person

Whether we find our potential sweetheart on a dating site, like Match, OkCupid, eHarmony, PlentyofFish or one of the many other dating sites; through mutual connections; or by randomly clicking on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn or even Instagram—the question remains: How soon to meet in person?

Evan Marc Katz, a dating coach for women, suggests the 2-2-2 rule, but I like the 2-2-1 rule:

  • Two message exchanges on the dating site
  • Two email exchanges off the dating site
  • Two phone calls (AJ prefers one phone call.)
  • If all is swell, meet in person.

In my video I offer the lowdown on how soon to meet a guy, but it’s the same MO for anyone serious about finding a long-term mate, female or male.

If we want to eventually wake up next to our amore, we need to move past pen pals.

Online Non-Dating Sites—How Soon to Meet in Person

The approach is a bit different when we connect on a social media site or a professional site, such as LinkedIn. The timeline to meet in person isn’t always the sooner the better.

Rule of thumb for when to approach someone romantically on a professional site: Whenever it occurs to you.

Facebook / Twitter / Instagram / social websites:

  • If we don’t test the potentially romantic waters soon by suggesting an in-person meeting, we put ourselves in the “friend zone.”
  • It’s much more difficult to get out of the friend zone than to avoid it from the get-go.

LinkedIn / Google+ / professional websites:

  • Approach with an attitude of “how can we support each other in business?” We can even use that as an introduction.
  • On professional online forums be especially careful to remember and respect that some connections are “off the market”—married or otherwise “consciously coupled.”

Either way, try this opener: “You’re an intriguing man / woman. How would you feel about meeting for coffee sometime?”

(Coffee is a lame date for online dating, but safer for sites where there’s an assumption of familiarity and/or professionalism.)

No matter what the person’s relationship status, this message allows the recipient to know that there’s potential romantic interest without it seeming creepy or cheesy.

In my opinion, it’s the recipient’s responsibility to let you know if he/she is “spoken for” or interested. If asked, be honest!!

You could also go bold and simply ask her out without any pretence. Worst case: she’s flattered. Unless, she’s a cold fish, in which case: whew, dodged that one!


  1. There are many ways to meet your soulmate on the soul-less Internet.
  2. If you don’t ask, you don’t get.
  3. Be gracious when rejecting someone online, no matter where it comes from. Give the person credit for courage and feel flattered.

Here are some more ways I provide dating advice for shy guys & introverted men to get a girlfriend.  Wait, not just a girlfriend, but your dream girl. 

If you’re ready to take it to warp speed to find, attract and keep your special sweetheart, remember that you didn’t land on my site by accident!

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Your Creator is your biggest fan and didn’t put you here to be shy, single and suffering. But, as My Little Mom (RIP) used to say, “God helps those who help themselves.”

Dude, you really do deserve to be loved.

To the very core of me I KNOW this to be true. It is the reason I do what I do.

And, guess what else? You don’t have to believe in God for my dating advice to work for you.

Follow my dating advice for shy guys & introverted men and before you know it you’ll get a girlfriend and be cuddled up on the couch chillin’ ‘n Netflix’in with your soulmate — no more Hands Solo!

Thanks so much for being here in the world with me! For reals.

xo Anna

Founder of Wingmam, Lover of Love, Your 2nd Biggest Fan!

You got this.

Um, yeah, here’s the fine print:

DISCLAIMER: Anna is not a psychiatrist—no way—or medical advisor—nope—you are responsible for your actions and the results thereof. Such is life.

About the Author Anna Jorgensen

Vancouver dating coach for men who love women! ❤️ (Not PC and not a feminist.)

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