What Turns Men Off? Stop Doing This! [Video]

Just the Tip—Dating Tips for Chicks!

Guess what gals? You know all those memes that say stuff like how the right guy will fall for you “no matter what you do” and how you can “do no wrong for the right guy”?

Well, bullshit.

If a guy has any sense of self-respect—uh, the kind of guy you want, right?—he’s going to get turned off no matter how many golf balls you can suck through a garden hose. (Crude, but that was for the dudes.)

Anyway, no matter how pretty, smart or sharply dressed (or undressed) you are, a good guy is going to have some standards about what he’s willing to put up with.

I want to elaborate on one of the items in the video: being competitive with them.

Ladies, you know how when we’re chit-chatting amongst our gender and sharing stories about whatever and we interject with our own related stories? You know how that gives us a feeling of relating and relating feels good and brings us closer together? Yeah, men aren’t like that.

To a man, an interjection isn’t a valued addition to the conversation. It’s an interruption and hijacks his story-telling.

It also gets him off-track and thus causes the climatic build of his story to peter out.


Chicks chatting about a hiking story …

“Oh my god, and then the sale was on the third floor and the escalator was broken …”
“… so you had to hike up all those stairs?”
“… right! With bags and our Evian water and someone bumped me …”
“No! And you spilled on your new Guess T?”

Okay, that was totally sexist, but you get the point. We banter back and forth and in doing so we’re both sharing in the story.

Women’s primary needs are to: communicate, connect, care for.

When we share communication we connect and feel cared for. We know our gal pal “gets us”.


Dicks telling a hiking story …

“We hiked eight miles in with 50 pound packs on a trail near a sheer cliff 200 meters off a rocky creek …”
Guy friend listens intently with expression of awe.
“… when we got to the forested area, it was 100 feet straight up …”
Guy friend, “Fuck, dude.” Nods for his friend to carry on.
“… with two broken ankles and an open pack of deer jerky …”
Guy friend listens intently with expression of awe.
“… a Grizzly bear …” blah blah blah.

Men’s primary needs are to: protect, provide for, procreate.

When men get to relive their barely-survived-the-bear stories, they’re expressing their masculinity, and in a roundabout way, showing their ability to protect us.

When we interrupt them or share our “relating” stories (“It happened to me, too.”); or, worse, one-up them (“Oh my god, my girl friends and I took on a mamma bear with cubs …”), we’ve totally emasculated him.

In the real world, an example would be a woman revealing how much more educated or well-paid we are. Maybe we think we’re impressing him. We’re not. Don’t one-up.

We’ve psychologically taken away his ability to protect and provide and no masculine man is going to want to procreate with a woman who does that to him. (This assumes you want a masculine man.)

The best solution—be impressed with his story! Come on, ladies, is that so difficult? We need to get over our own egos on this one.

If that’s too much to ask, y’all might want to ask yourself why that is. Think about it.

A Goddess knows how to give the gift of swooning. A power-trip to withhold a man’s simple need doesn’t empower anyone. Feminine does not equal anti-feminism.

What-Turns-Men-Off Bonus Tip for Chicks:

  • Discover, don’t investigate! Be curious. Don’t run through your list of questions to determine if he meets muster on your must-haves and deal-breakers.

Hint: If you know your Top 5 (and the whys behind them), then you should’ve figured out at least a couple of them before you wound up on a date with the dude. Aim to figure out one or two more—through natural conversation, not intentional interrogation—and leave the rest of the conversation in the charm-each-other arena.

What Turns Men Off Takeaway:

If chemistry is on the fence, your attitude and actions can tip him one way or the other.

xo AJ

Agree? Disagree? Share your take on what turns men off in the comments!

About the Author Anna Jorgensen

Vancouver dating coach for men who love women! ❤️ (Not PC and not a feminist.)

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